Late-Night Hosts Take Aim At Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Visa Program

Late-night's prominent entertainers devoted the broadcast mocking President Donald Trump's recently launched immigration initiative, labeled the "gold card," describing it as a clear cash-for-residency scheme for the affluent.

Stephen Colbert's Pointed Take

Starting his show, Stephen Colbert delivered a mock Christmas tune directed at the president. "He's compiling a list, checking it twice, and then handing that list to the people at ICE," he crooned. "The President ... ruins each thing he comes into contact with."

The subject was the controversial program that permits international individuals to acquire U.S. residence for a sum of a million dollars, or "platinum" option for $5 million. A government page pledges processing "in record time."

"A quick message here to affluent immigrants: prior to you fork over the cash, have you considered Canada?" Colbert quipped.

He explained that the program is also designed to "squeeze cash" from businesses wishing to hire skilled workers, requiring large costs. "That is a lot of fees, but if you register, you additionally get two free nights at a property of your selection – if it's the a specific Marriott," he said.

"Unprecedented background check the government has ever done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to verify these applicants absolutely are eligible to be in America."

"That's important, you gotta prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert responded. "Question one: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Critique

On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the initiative the "Get Into America Express Card."

"This is a card that will permit affluent foreigners to live here," he said. "For a million dollars, you get official visitor status, you get a road to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one major crime of your choosing."

"It might be time to revise that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your tired masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel teased the simplicity of the application, noting it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "thinks citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak."

"Indeed, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "That's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers on Grocery Struggles

Meanwhile, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's slipping approval ratings amid financial concerns. "People gave Donald Trump a another term since they were upset about the economy," he noted.

Recently, in a bid to address cost of living, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a display of food items, where he behaved strangely to some cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a ages."

"He is so extremely weird," Meyers responded. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by criticizing right-leaning media arguments of Trump's economic record. "Perhaps rather than complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy similar to what FIFA did," he joked.